Brawl or Nothing
by Vaati's Apprentice
Summary: Midna and Vaati embark on a quest to find eight new contestants for the new Smash Brothers tournament. If they succeed, they shall become smashers themselves. But if they fail, they will die at the hands of the strange new dangers they must face
1. The Adventure Begins

It has been just too long since I've done a Smash Bros fic. So I thought, I don't have anything else going on, so why not do one? Now I'm sure that all of you can name a few people who you would like to see in Brawl. For me, I would've obviously put Vaati in. Hence, the inspiration for this fic. Now, I'm not saying I'm not happy with the characters that are currently (although Wario seriously pisses me off sometimes). I love playing as Wolf, Meta Knight and Lucario (even though I stopped playing Pokemon after ruby version). Now before I begin let me set one thing strait, I am not taking suggestions for characters to add. I've thought this through already. And as always, this fic should not be read by anyone with no sense of humor. Finally, this is my first adventure-type fic, so be nice with your reviews. I do not own Super Smash Brothers.

CHAPTER 1: THE ADVENTURE BEGINS

Vaati drained another shot of whiskey and slammed the empty glass on the counter among the seemingly endless other empty shot glasses. His hair was a tangled mess, his eye was bloodshot and he kept swaying back and forth as if phasing in and out of reality. "Keep 'em coming Zant hic." Vaati said in a drunken slur. "No way Vaati, you've had enough for tonight." Zant, who was the bartender of the recently built Evil Realm Bar, said while continuing to wash the seemingly endless used shot glasses. "And what makes you hic think that?" Vaati asked. "How many fingers am I holding up?" Zant asked, holding up three fingers. "Ooh, look at the pretty lights." Vaati said, snatching at the air, trying to catch said pretty lights. "I rest my case." Zant said, continuing his glass washing.

"Vaati, what the hell is wrong with you? Just a few weeks ago you were the appitamy of evil and strife. And now look at you." Zant said with a concerned tone of voice. The reason for Vaati's depression started a few years ago when Ganondorf was permitted to leave the Evil Realm to join the Smash Brothers Tournament and live in the Smash Mansion. Then last month there was a notice going around that a new tournament was starting. Vaati took no time in seizing his opportunity to escape from the Evil Realm. He sent his resume in to Master Hand, the tournament administrator. It chronicled every evil deed he had done in life, from every village he plundered right down to every butterfly he incinerated. But hours turned to days, days turned to weeks and still no answer. Vaati had been rejected. What made things worse was that Dark Link and King Bulblin were permitted to leave. He had also learned that other villains had made it into the tournament. Like Wolf O'Donnell, King Dedede, and even Wario. What did they have that Vaati didn't?

But before he could tell Zant about his plight, there was a loud combination of banging, crashing and screaming coming from the other end of the bar. "Ah crap, Majora's starting another fight. Well, I've got some work to do. Vaati, you need to get home and try to get some rest." Zant said. With that, he put on his helmet, picked up a large spiked mace from behind the counter, and went off in the direction the noise was coming from. Vaati lifted another shot glass, but before he could drink from it he felt a hand grab his shoulder and spin him around in his chair. He found himself face to face with Midna, princess of the Twili (A/N: Midna is in her true form, as in the one at the end of the game. I thought I'd just throw that in to avoid any confusion.). However, he didn't realise who this was since his brain had soaked up about three gallons of whiskey like a sponge. "Vaati, I need to have a word with you." Midna said, taking the shot glass from Vaati's hand and setting on the counter behind him. "Oh look who it is hic, mister 'I'm too busy to come to your orchestra recital'." Vaati said, still drunk. Vaati collapsed into Midna, weeping. "Why do you close your eyes when we make love?" he asked, still sobbing. Midna pushed Vaati away from her and gave him a strong punch to the side of his head. He fell backwards and knocked his head on the counter and blacked out.

-several hours later-

Vaati slowly shook himself from sleep's grasp. He looked around and realised that he was lying in his bed in his tower (A/N: Every particularly evil resident of the Evil Realm is given a tower to help them escape from the others.). "It's about time you got up, you've been out for hours." a voice said. Vaati sat up and saw Midna sitting in a chair to right with a tome of Twili magic in her hands. "Ow, my head." Vaati said grogily, putting his hands to his head. "A hangover is the goddesses way of telling you not to drown you misery in alcohol." Midna said. "Oh and by the way, you were talking in your sleep. And you've got some issues that you should probably work on." Midna said with a mixture of concern and fear. "What do you want from me?" Vaati asked, annoyance evident in his voice. "It's not what I want, it's what we both want." Midna replied. "Are you coming on to me?" Vaati asked. Midna slapped him hard across his face. Apparently that was her people's way of saying no.

"Goddesses no!" Midna yelled. She got a hold of herself and regained her composure. "I mean, no. Please, allow me to introduce myself. I am Midna, princess of the Twilight Realm. And I know much about you, Vaati of the Minish. Link told me plenty on our adventures." Midna explained. She could see a gleam of anger in Vaati's eye at the mention of Link's name. "And if I may ask, how did you get inside the Evil Realm?" Vaati asked. "I had a little help from my friends, the sages." Midna said. "Now, I have a proposition for you. I've been told by a reliable source that you want entrance into the new Super Smash Brothers tournament. Well you see, I want in as well. But Master Hand didn't seem to think that I would be a suitable fighter. So I need somone to vouch for me. And if you get me in, I'll get you in. So I give you two options. One, you go back to that bar and continue to wallow in your misery. Or two, you show the world the true power of you and your people." Midna said.

Vaati appeared to think about it, weighing both his choices. Until he realised that the answer was obvious. "Well, nice meeting you Midna. Have a nice trip back to werever." Vaati said, getting out of bed and making his way to the door. "Hold it!" Midna yelled, grabbing Vaati's cape. "I didn't drag your whiskey soaked ass all the way up this tower just to have you say no." Midna said through clenched teeth. "Now you're going to come with me to that mansion even if I have to drag you." she said, still not loosening her grip. "All right, all right. I guess nothing could be worse than listening to another one of Onox's old war stories." Vaati said. Midna released his cape. "So show me the way out." Vaati said, turning to her. "Well, there is one tiny problem. You see, only the pure of heart can leave this place at will." Midna said. "Well then why did you come to me? Why didn't you ask somone outside of here?" Vaati asked. "Have you seen any other human besides Link and Zelda that can actually fight? I swear, those soldiers must be there just for show." Midna explained. "Good point." Vaati said.  
"But it's no big deal. All we need to do is get you to be one of the good guys." Midna said. "And how do we do that?" Vaati asked. "Well, I guess I'll have to train you. Let's just start out with some polite conversation. Now repeate after me. It's a pleasure to make your acquantance, what a lovely day we're having. Now you try." Midna said, trying not to push Vaati over the edge. "It's a pleasure to make your acquantance, I'll burn your house down, throw your family into a swamp and let the beasts feast on their entrails. How was that?" Vaati asked. "Wow, perfect, absolutely flawless, we are good to go. But, just for laughs and giggles, let's do it again." Midna said.

-hours later-

Midna was slumped down in a chair, holding an ice pack against her forehead. "Once again, here's how it sould sound. 'My, you're looking lovely today'.The past few tries you threatened to steal my money, eat my people's babys, poison our water supply, deliver a plague onto my realm and rape our children." Midna said, with an apparent loss of hope. Then, something inside Vaati's head must have snapped from all the strain of Midna's training. He took Midna's free hand. "A pleasure to make your acquantance, milady." he said before kissing the top of her hand. Midna's eyes snapped open and she looked at Vaati in complete disbelief. "My, you're looking lovely today." he continued. "Vaati, is that you?" Midna asked, her eyes wide with shock. "But of course, who else would I be?" he asked. He let go of Midna's hand and walked over to the window. "Lovely weather we're having." he said. Although this was the Evil Realm and the weather was always dreary and depressing. But after the years Vaati had spent there, he wouldn't know the difference. Midna shot out of her chair in joy at the results of her hard work. Once again, she had to get a hold of herself. "Nicely done, Vaati. You might actually be able to pass yourself off as a gentlemen. But it's not just enough to talk nicely, you need to learn to act nicely as well." Midna said.

-outside Vaati's tower-

"Now you need to learn to be a good somaratin. That means that you must help someone in need without thinking of what you might get in return. Let's start, shall we?" Midna said. She snapped her fingers and a Lizalfo carrying a large crate came out. It was apparent that he was struggling, and whatever was inside was obviously very heavy. "You see somone struggling with a package, what do you do?" Midna asked. "Oh, I think I got this." Vaati said. With that, he extended his arm, formed a ball of magical energy around his outstreched fingers and fired it at the Lizalfo, turning him to stone. "Vaati!" Midna yelled. "What? Now nobody will have to listen to him complain about carrying that crate. You see Midna, I don't just think about one person, I think about everyone. And isn't that what a good somaratin is?" Vaati asked. Midna was about to protest when a Stalfo, who was there for the next phase of Vaati's training, broke in. "He does have a point." it said. Midna rubbed her temples in frustration.

"All right, you pass... I guess. Just change him back and we'll move on." Midna said, repressing her anger. Vaati snapped his fingers and the Lizalfo was turned back to normal. Midna signalled for it to drop the crate, and it complied. "What was that thing filled with anyway?" Vaati asked. "Some of my shedded skin." the Lizalfo replied. "Why you be carrying around a crate of shed skin?" Vaati asked. "Mind your own business!" the Lizalfo snapped. Midna clapped her hands to get their attention.

"Let's move on. You two, get in position." she said, pointing to the Stalfo and the Lizalfo. The Stalfo drew his sword and pressed it against the Lizalfo's throat. "Now, you see a citizen being harrassed. What do you do?" Midna asked. "I definately have this one." Vaati said. With that, he sent an arc of electrical magic at the Stalfo. It was hit square in the back. It screamed as elecricity surched through it's body before it's body fell apart. "Vaati! You're not supposed to kill him, you're supposed to let him know that you wont take his actions lightly!" Midna screamed. "I like my idea better." Vaati said.

"Hey, can I go now?" the Lizalfo asked. Midna, looked at her with her eyes glowing with magical energy. The Lizalfo was torn apart from the inside out by Midna's Twili magic. "Wo, calm down Midna." Vaati said. "Calm down? Calm down!? You're asking me to calm down!? How about you calm down!?" Midna yelled. Now it was time for something in Midna's head to snap. She delivered a punch to Vaati's stomach. Vaati grasped his stomach. "You just hit me." Vaati said, looking at her angrily. "Yeah, and it felt good." Midna said, with her hands on her hips, smiling wikedly. Vaati retaliated and threw a punch at Midna that connected with her chest. Midna backed away from the force of the blow. "You can't hit me, I'm a girl." she said. "Yeah, too bad Ezlo never tought me chivalry." Vaati said, now it was his turn to smile evily. "That's it, you're gowing down." Midna said, removing her head-dress. "Bring it, bitch." Vaati said, lightning magic dancing around his clenched fists. (A/N: This is my first actual fight scene, so don't be too harsh if it's not too good.)

Vaati rushed at Midna. Midna put her hands in front of her and sent a shockwave through the air wich knocked Vaati off his feet. Vaati landed on the ground with a thud. Midna jumped into the air and came flying down at Vaati with magical energy flaring around her outstreched hands. Vaati extended his arm and shot a bolt of lightning magic at Midna. It connected and caused Midna to fly backwards and skid to a stop. She got up slowly and saw Vaati charging at her with a look of homicidal rage in his eyes. He raised his fist to deliver a crushing blow to Midna. She quikly sidestepped his attack and kicked him in the back. Vaati stumbled foreward, clutching his back. "Kicking, Midna?" he asked, looking at her. "Hurts, doesn't it?" she asked, smiling evily. "You tell me." Vaati said, delivering a roundhouse kick to the side of Midna's head. Midna stumbled backwards with her hand at the spot that Vaati had kicked her. She looked at her hand and saw that his kick had drawn blood. Not a lot, but enough to royally piss her off. She lunged at Vaati and sank her teeth into his hand. Vaati screamed and started yanking powerfully at Midna's hair. Tears started to come to Midna's eyes, but still she refused to let go. Vaati sent a shock of lightning magic to Midna's head, wich was enough to make her let go. Now they were both bleeding. They looked at each other with anger in their eyes. They ran at each other and grabbed each other's throats with iron grips. They then sent waves of magical energy through each-others bodies. They both yelled in pain but still refused to back down. Finally sapped of energy, they both let go and collapsed to the ground.

Vaati looked at Midna who was lying next to him, panting from the loss of energy. "Now... I've... got you." he panted. He raised his hand to deliver the final blow to Midna. Electrical energy crackled weakly around his hand before dying quikly. "Damn. Well... I'll just rest a while before killing you." Vaati said. "Hey Vaati, can I ask you a question?" Midna asked. "Shoot." Vaati said. "Did we just kill each-other?" she asked. "Sarcastically or literally?" Vaati asked. "Literally." Midna replied. "No, I don't think so. Why?" Vaati asked. "Because we're flying." Midna said.

Vaati looked around him and saw what Midna was talking about. They were both floating among the clouds in a blue sky. Vaati felt some strength returning to his body. He pulled himself up and looked at his hand. The bite marks that Midna had left were closing before his eyes. Midna sat up as well and felt the side of her head. The scratch she got when Vaati kicked her had closed as well.  
Then a sound came to both of their ears. It sounded like clapping. But it was extremely loud. Then out of the clouds came a pair of enormous gloved hands. Sure enough, they were the ones clapping. They ceased the clapping and the right hand came foreward. He made no indication that he was speaking, but the voice that Midna and Vaati heard was obviously coming from him. "Well done, I obviously underestimated you Midna." he said. "Yeah, you guys totally kicked each others asses. I was all like 'wo, awesome'. Then Midna totally went ballistic on your ass, man!" the left hand exlaimed exitedly. The right hand sighed. "Crazy, here's ten bucks, go get yourself a pie from the cafeteria." the right hand said, handing the left a ten dollar bill. The left one squeeled in joy before taking the money and flying off.

"Idiot." the right hand mumbled. "Oh, my apologies. I am Master Hand, overseer of the Super Smash Brothers tournament. You see, Crazy and I were watching you from the mansion. We obviously made a mistake when we rejected you both. You've got quit the fight in you." Master Hand said. Midna and Vaati jumped to their feet in excitement. "So you're going to let us in?" Midna asked with excitement. "Well there is one problem. You're both late entries, and that would drastically throw off the balance of the tournament. But don't worry. I have a task for you. Midna, put out your hands." Master Hand said. Midna did as she was told. Master Hand snapped his enormous fingers and a slab of pure, shimmering crystal appeared in Midna's hands. On it was etched the numbers one through ten with a blank line after each. Then Midna's name etched itself on the first blank, and Vaati's on the second.

"What you hold is the Smash Charter. If you can find eight other worthy fighters and get them to sign the charter, you and the eight others will be admitted into the tournament. And of course, you will also be given your own places in the mansion." Master Hand said. "Hey, does this mean I don't have to be a good guy?" Vaati asked. "Nope, be as evil as you like. But be warned that if you try to tear apart your opponents outside the battlefield, you will be sent back to the Evil Realm." Master Hand said. "I have a question, how will we know if somone is worthy?" Midna asked. "Use these." Master Hand said. He snapped his fingers again and a pair of high-tech looking goggles appeared in Vaati's hands. "Those goggles were designed by Samus Aran, they will allow you to scan people and objects and give you valuable information on them. They will also tell you if a scanned fighter can enter the tournament. And I should probably mention another thing. In order to sign the Smash Charter, the fighter must willingly touch the next empty line. So no torturing people to make them sign it." Master Hand said. "Aww." Vaati moaned, he had already been concocting plans to force people to join.

"Now, off you go." Master Hand said. With that, he snapped his fingers another time and a door appeared in the air. "This is the Galactic Gateway. It will allow you to travel across dimensions to seek out fighters." Master Hand explained. "Is this thing safe?" Midna asked. "I have yet to find a glitch in the system." Master Hand said. "Well, we should probably get going then." Vaati said, pocketing the Smash Goggles. Midna opened the door and entered with Vaati following. When Vaati was inside the doorway, he turned to face Master Hand. "Say, how do we know where we're going?" Vaati asked. But before he could get an answer, the door swung closed and they were gone. "OK, I think I just found the first glitch." Master Hand said to himself.

Vaati and Midna appeared in the middle of a large open plain. The sounds of shouting men and screeching wyverns filled the air around them. There were two armies facing each other. One was clad in shimmering white and gold armor. The other wore ebon black armor. And Vaati and Midna were cought in the center of the battlefield. The armies, taking no heed of Vaati and Midna, charged straight for each other. "Midna, if we both die, I just want you to know that I hate you." Vaati said as the armies closed in on each other.

END OF CHAPTER: 1

Wow, I forgot how fun writing a new fic is. So tell me if you think this story has any potential. I know that this fic didn't have much humor in it, but I was mainly focusing on getting the story started. In the upcoming chapters I'll focus more on humor.


	2. Trouble in Tellius

Well it looks like the first chapter went pretty well. Thanks for all the positive feedback. As TheGamerSwordsman (and the title of this chapter) pointed out, Midna and Vaati are now in Tellius. The land that Ike hails from. I've figured that it's high time Nintendo added a Fire Emblem character that DOESN'T have legions of fangirls after their skin. A few of you may find this selection... questionable. But I have my reasons. Plus, Jigglypuff and the Ice Climbers have been questionable entries since day one in my opinion. Anyway, keep the reviews coming. I'll update whenever I can. I do not own Nintendo. On to the chapter!

CHAPTER 2: TROUBLE IN TELLIUS

"Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, what have I done, what have I done, what have I done?" Master Hand said to himself, almost in a paranoid voice, as he floated back in forth in the Scrying Room. The Scrying Room was a small, sunlit room in the magic wing of the mansion. In the center of the room was a Scrying Mirror that Pit had brought to the mansion as sort of a gift so everyone could keep tabs on their homes and loved ones (A/N: Think of the thing that Pit was using to watch the fight between Mario and Kirby at the beginning of the Subspace Emmisary.). But now Master Hand was using it to watch over Midna and Vaati, who weren't in a very desirable situation at the moment.

"What DID you do, sir?" Ike asked, coming through the door. He had heard Master Hand talking to himself and decided to see what he could do to help. Because when Master Hand wasn't happy, nobody was. "I'll tell you what I did, I just sent two people to there deaths!" Master Hand yelled. "So what, you do that every day." Ike pointed out. "Yes, but in this situation, they aren't going to be caught by a floating tile." Master Hand said. "Hmm, I guess that really is a problem. Is there anything I can do to help?" Ike asked. "Now that I think about it, there is. I need you to go find Link and Zelda and bring them back here. They'll know more about these fighters than I will." Master Hand said. "Right away, sir." Ike said, giving Master Hand a salute before running off to find the two.

-meanwhile, in the battlefield-

(A/N: I'll be writing down when the scenes change. I've learned from past blunders that some people are too easily confused and won't follow if I don't let them know when the scene changes.)

"Vaati, will you get down!?" Midna yelled over the roar of the battle while kneeling behind a rock. Vaati either didn't hear her or didn't care as he hurled another lightning bolt at a group of fighting soldiers. Midna grabbed him by his sleeve and yanked him down, just in time to dodge an arrow that would've hit his head. "Why are you attacking members of _both _armies?" Midna asked angrily. "I'm just being fair. You see Midna, I first started killing the soldiers in white armor. And then I realized that they were probably getting mad because now the soldiers in black had more men. So I started attacking the black soldiers to even things out. I think some of the good guy training of yours stuck with me. Before I would've just killed everyone and made a giant murel out of blood." Vaati replied.

"Vaati, can you hear me?" a voice that didn't seem to have an owner asked. "Yeah, I'm right next to you." Vaati said, thinking it was Midna. "What are you talking about, I didn't say anything. I thought _you _were talking to yourself again." Midna said, thinking it was Vaati. "Look in your pocket, you stupid douche!" the voice demanded. Vaati dug into his pocket and pulled out the Smash Visor. "Now put it on." the voice said, talking to Vaati like he was a child. Vaati fixed the visor in front of his eyes. The image of Master Hand crackled to life in the lower tight hand corner of the visor. "Can you see me?" Master Hand asked. "Yeah, where are you?" Vaati asked. "I'm in the Smash Mansion. I can communicate to both of you through the Scrying Mirror. I've sent Ike to fetch Link and Zelda. Until he gets back, I'm going to try to keep you both alive." Master Hand said.

"Oh no no no no, hell no. I'd rather take advice from an alcoholic, braindead Deku Scrub with cerebral apaulsy than that fairy boy!" Vaati protested. "Vaati, why do you have to be so uptite. Link can really help us both out. He can guide us... guide us with his strong, masculine voice, and his iron will and..." Midna trailed off dreamily. "You do know he's married to Zelda, right?" Master Hand asked. Midna snapped out of her trance at these words. "Come again." Midna said through clenched teeth. Vaati swiped his index finger across his throat, trying to tell Master Hand not to answer. Master Hand, however, did not notice. "Yeah, when Zelda came to the Smash Mansion she was out of Hyrule and therefore didn't have to abide by her father's wishes. So the first thing Link did was propose marriage to her, and she accepted." Master Hand explained. Twili magic flared to life around Midna's hands as her eyes burned with anger. Vaati braced himself for the coming storm.

-meanwhile, in the magic wing-

Ike arrived at Link and Zelda's room. The two were nowhere else to be found, so their room was the only other place. Ike hated to disturb the couple, but what he hated more was being beaten to death with his own spine by a giant glove. Ike raised his right hand and knocked on the large, oaken door. He could hear a deal of grumbling from inside before Link answered. "What is it?" he said with an irritated voice. "Link, I need to speak with you. It's urgent." Ike said. "Are we under attack?" Link asked. "No." Ike replied. "Is the mansion on fire?" Link asked. "No." Ike replied againe. "Then it can wait." Link said with a 'go the hell away' tone of voice.

"But Master Hand said that for every minute I'm late, I'll lose a toe." Ike pleaded, resorting to lying to get Link out. "Toes are overrated, all they do is get in the way when you try to kick someone." Link said. Ike decided that now was the time for drastic measures. "Link, if you don't come out now, I'll take IT out." Ike threatened. "You wouldn't dare." Link said. "Last chance, Link." Ike said. Link didn't respond. "Then you leave me no choice." Ike said. With that, he pulled a bottle out of his pocket wich contained the terror of Hyrule... Navi! Ike twisted off the cork and let Navi out and immediately plugged his ears. "FREEDOM!!" Navi squeeked. "Hey Link, you're behind a door. I like doors. They're so big and wooden and..." Navi started rambling. "All right, all right! You win, shut her up!" Link yelled. Ike grabbed Navi and shoved her back inside the bottle.

The door creaked open, and for some reason Link was wearing glasses and a leisure suit. "Well, what do you want?" Link asked. Ike, tanken off guard by Link's outfit, had to take a moment to recollect his thoughts. "Well, spit it out." Link said, getting more impatiant. Ike opened his mouth to speak, but was just two seconds too late. "Oh headmaster, I'm ready for my punishment!" Zelda yelled from inside the room. "Be right there, you naughty girl!" Link yelled over his shoulder. "Oh... oh jeese. You know what, it looks like you're busy. Umm, listen... when you get a chance just come down to the Scrying Room." Ike said, realising what was going on. "Sounds good." Link said before slamming the door in Ike's face.

Ike made his way back to the Scrying Room where Master Hand was waiting for him. "Where's Link and Zelda?" he asked. "They're a little busy at the moment." Ike said. "How busy could they possibly be?" Master Hand asked, irritated. "Well, they're sort of... you know... doing." Ike struggled, but just couldn't find the words for it. So he pounded his right fist into his left palm several times. "Oh... OH, I see." Master Hand said as realization came over him. "Lucky bastard." Master Hand mumbled under his breath. "Well, I guess you'll just have to help. They're in Tellius right now." Master Hand said, motioning to the Scrying Mirror.

-meanwhile, in the battlefield-

Midna breathed heavily as she looked around at the sea bodies and blood around her. When enraged, Twili could quikly expand a tremendous amount of powerful magical energy. Vaati, in the meantime, had taken a number of various severed limbs and had stacked them together to make what crudely resembled a person. Just then, Master Hand's voice cam to them. "All right you two, looks like Link and Zelda are 'occupied' at the moment. So... Vaati, what the hell is that?" Master Hand asked, noticing Vaati's creation. "Oh, this is Bloody the Corpse Man. He goes from town to town and makes soup out of children and various furry animals. All I have to do is find a magical scalp to put on his head, and he'll come to life." Vaati explained.

"Riiight... well anyway, let me tell about where you are. You're in the continent of Tellius, Ike's homeland. Not too long ago, Ike's home country of Crimea defeated the country of Daein and 'Mad King' Ashnard. Crimea does not have the resources to govern another country, however. So they've turned power over to their allie country of Begnion. However, there are still a few soldiers who are still loyal to their late king. The Daeins are the ones in black armor. I suspect that they're performing a final assault as sort of a last hurra." Master Hand explained.

"Well there's not much 'hurraing' going on right now." Vaati said, smiling at Midna's work. "Vaati, do you hear something?" Midna asked, pricking up her ears. "Now that you mention it, I do hear something like flapping wings." Vaati said, noticing the sound. At that moment, the two looked up to see a couple of wyverns spiraling down towards them. Vaati and Midna jumped out of the way in time to avoid becoming a Minish/Twili pancake, but the shock from the wyvern's landing knocked them both to the ground. Two of the wyverns, showing some impressive reflexes, caught Midna and Vaati and wrapped their strong tails around them to prevent them from excaping.

_"Vaati, do something. Shoot lightning at them, turn them to stone!" _Midna yelled, struggling to free herself (A/N: When the dialect is in italics, that means that Vaati and Midna are communicating telepathically.). _"You know, I find it interesting that you were so criticall of my use of magic not two minutes ago. And now look at you." _Vaati said. _"Turn them to stone Vaati, pretty please." _Vaati said in a girly, moking tone of voice. _"Anyway, I can't do anything. I need the use of my arms to cast magic." _Vaati continued. The wyvern had Vaati's arms locked securely in place underneath it's tail.

The wyvern riders looked at their prizes with smiles on their faces. "The Queen will most definately be pleased." one of them said. "Speaking of witch, here she comes now." the other knight stated, pointing at another flying creature headed towards their position. As the creature came closer, Vaati and Midna realized that it was a pegasus, a creature witch they thought only existed in myth. The pegasus landed a few feet from the wyvern knights. It was a beatifull creature clad in shimmering white armor and silk tassels. On it was a young woman with flowing green hair, clad in the same white armor. Only this one had an air of royalty about her. She dismounted her pegasus, and the wyvern knights did the same. The two knights walked over to the woman and bowed before her with respect. "Mi'lady, we've captured the demons." on of them said. "Demons? Well now that's a little racist, don't you think?" Vaati said angrily. The knights paid no mind to Vaati, and continued speaking to the woman about the procession of the battle.

_"Vaati, what does your visor say about these three?" _Midna asked. Vaati, who was still wearing the Smash Visor, focused his gaze on the three. _"The two wyvern riders aren't important, but that woman is a different story. It says here that her name is Elincia Ridell Crimea, crowned queen of the kingdom of Crimea. She was trained as a fighter in secrecy since she was a young girl. Looks to me like she's worthy of being in the tournament. Plus, I've noticed a bit of a lack of female fighters." _Vaati said. _"That settles it then, this Queen Elincia will join us. But first we must get ourselves out of this situation. We must inform them of our noble intentions." _Midna said. _"Can do." _Vaati replied.

Elincia, aparently done speaking to the knights, approached the two captives. "So, you're the ones that have killed so many of my men. Who, or what, exactly are you?" Elincia asked, looking the two over. "Greetings, Queen Elincia. I am Vaati, of the Pikori Forest. I mean you, and your entire country, harm. I shall bring about a new age of death, the likes of witch has never before been seen." Vaati said, with an evil smirk. _"Vaati! It's 'no' harm, you mean them NO harm!" _Midna yelled. _"Well that doesn't sound like me." _Vaati said. _"Well could you pretend to be sombody else for two minutes?" _Midna asked.

But Elincia had heard enough. She drew her sword, Amiti. "Well I shall see that that does not happen." Elincia said as she approached the two. Midna, searching for a way out of this, remembered something about a contestant named Ike who lived in this country. She didn't know if Elincia knew Ike on a personall level, but it seemed to be her only option. "Well it's too bad you won't hear us out, because Ike was really looking foreward to seeing you." Midna said. Elincia stopped dead in her tracks and stared at Midna. "What did you just say? Do you know Ike?" Elincia asked.

Midna saw that her plan was working, and composed herself. "Yes, he had waiting to see you for a while now." she said. "Can you take me to him?" Elincia asked. "Well that's going to be alot harder if we're both executed." Vaati said. Elincia sheathed Amiti. "You two, release them and remove yourself from my sight. I wish to have a private counsel with these warriors." Elincia said, pointing to the wyvern knights. "B-but your highness, they killed hundreds of men." one of the knights stuttered, not believing what he was hearing. "Are you questioning a direct order?" Elincia asked with anger in her voice.

The knights said no more and motioned for their wyverns to put their prisoners on the ground. The wyverns complied and the knights mounted up and took off. "So, what do you know about Ike's whereabouts?" Elincia asked. "Ah yes, of course. Master Hand, would you mind getting Ike for us!?" Midna yelled into the sky. "Sure thing." Master Hands voice rang out. The next thing they heard was a good deal of struggling and even some screaming. "You are going to talk to her and that's final!" the three heard Master Hand yell, sounding a little farther away. "Sorry about that, the little rat tried to run, but I got him." Master Hand said. "Now talk to her!" he ordered.

"H-hello Elincia." Ike's voice rang out, he sounded more than a little nervouse. "Ike, where are you?" Elincia asked, looking around her. "Here, put these on." Vaati said, taking off the Smash Visor and handing it to Elincia. She took the visor and put it on, though it was evident in her expression that she didn't know how it would help. Then an image appeard in the same corner of the visor. It was Ike, being held in place by Master Hand. "Hi, sugar plum." Ike said, giving her a nervouse smile. "Don't you 'sugar plum' me you son of a bitch!" Elincia yelled.

Vaati's and Midna's eyes widened as Elincia took on a whole new personality. An extremely pissed off personality, to be exact. "What did I do?" Ike asked innocently. "Oh nothing, I just somhow got the crazy idea that you and I were supposed to have dinner together last week. So there I was in the royal dining hall, wearing my best dress and jewlery with this huge feast on the table in front of me. And I waited, and waited, and waited, and then waited some more, but still you didn't show up. It was about four hours after you were supposed to have come that Mist arrived with a message that you weren't going to make it because you had some tournament to go to." Elincia explained, almost unable to contain her rage.

"Oh, that... hehe, well you see, I uuh." Ike stutered, desperately searching for a way out. "Zip it!" Elincia commanded. "Yes, dear." Ike said weakly. "Do you know what I do when I get upset, Ike? I eat... alot. I ate almost that entire feast that you couldn't be at because you care more about your tournament than you do about me. Is that what you want? Do you want some fat woman? Is that it!?" Elincia yelled, on the verge of bursting. Ike was in a panic now, squerming desperately in Master Hand's iron grip. Master Hand let go of Ike, who then sprinted down the hallway to barrikade his room against the insane queen.

"All right Elincia, you certainly have spirit. Now I want you to listen carefully, I am Master Hand, overseer of the tournament that Ike is participating in. And these two are Vaati and Midna, my messengers who are seeking out new contenders. I have a place for you in the tournament as well. But first I must see if you can fight without that flying mule of yours. First off, give Vaati that visor back." Master Hand said. Elincia handed the Smash Visor back to Vaati, who put it back in his pocket. "Now this test will be simple, just keep fighting Vaati until I reach a decision." Master Hand explained. Elincia drew Amiti and got into her battle position. Vaati snapped his fingers and in a puff of smoke, a sword appeard in his hand. Vaati entered his battle stance as well. "On my count. Three... two... one... GO!" Master Hand yelled. (A/N: Here's my second attempt at a fight scene. Maybe I'll do better with swords.)

Elincia charged at Vaati, concentrating all her rage on him. She took a vertical swing at him. Vaati easily blocked the move, but he was a bit surprised at the force Elincia was using. He even need to use both hands to match her strangth. They stood there, their blades grinding against one-another. "Don't think I'll go easy on you." Vaati said. "I don't count on it." Elincia replied. With that, she plowed her knee into Vaati's stomach. Vaati, out of breath, took his sword away from Elincia's and bent foreward in pain. Elincia brought Amiti's hilt down on the top of Vaati's back, causing him to drop to the ground. Elincia raised Amiti to deliver the final blow, but Vaati rolled out of the way and Amiti plunged into the charred earth. Vaati quikly sprung to his feet and brought the tip of his sword to Elincia's neck. Elincia, who was still a little shocked that Vaati had moved out of the way so quikly, refused to give up. "Hey look, a tasty little baby." Elincia said, pointing behind Vaati. Vaati turned his head over his shoulder. Elincia thrust Amiti out of the ground and swung at the distracted Vaati. Vaati quikly turned and brought up his sword to meet Amiti. The two blades were locked once againe. The two took wild swings at each other, refusing to back down. The valley sang with a chorus of clashing steel as the light from the setting sun glared off of their blades. The two fighters jumped away from each-other and thrust their swords towards their opponent. Elincia and Vaati froze, both of their sword tips were mere centimeters away from each-others throats.

"Enough." Master Hand ordered. The two lowered their weapons. Vaati disspelled his sword and Elincia sheathed Amiti. "Marvelous, Elincia. I think you will make an excellent addition to our tournament." Master Hand said. "Midna, if you would." he said. Midna pulled the Smash Charter out of her robes and held it out to Elincia. "Just touch the next blank line." Midna explained, seeing a look of confusion on Elincia's face. Elincia placed her finger on the third blank. Light danced around the line as Elincia's name was etched in along with Vaati's and Midna's. Midna put away the Smash Charter.

"Excellent. Elincia, you just wait until Midna and Vaati have gotten the other signatures. I will come and retrieve you when it is time." Master Hand said. "Very well." Elincia said, mounting her pegasus once againe. A surge of light came from the air a few feet away from Vaati and Midna as the Galactic Gateway materialized before them. "Well, that's our que to leave. Oh and Elincia, try go setting a village or two on fire. It does wonders for me when I'm stressed." Vaati said. Elincia nodded and bid them both farewell before flying off to rejoin her troops. Midna opened the door of the gateway and entered it. "This might be harder than I thought." Vaati said to himself before following Midna through the gateway.

END OF CHAPTER: 2

And that is how we get a Fire Emblem character that doesn't have any fangirls. We get a woman. Of course, I don't know any lesbians so I can't get their opinion on Elincia. Anyway, you probably have to get to a certain point in Radiant Dawn to discover how usefull Elincia is. She's actually a pretty decent fighter. The trouble is that if you get an archer or a sniper in front of her, she's history. And sorry about the slow updating, but these chapters are a whole lot longer than what I usually write. So, tell me what you thought.


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